Dad Talk – Body No Confidence

DAD BOD ALERT, This is way out of my comfort zone.

When I was 15 I started playing for a 5 a side team in a league, I felt awesome. 15, and playing in a men’s league. From that day forward I have always felt the buzz of playing in 5 a side leagues. Totally love it.

When I was 16 I was athletic, like lightening, agile and ripped but weighed about 9.5 stone. I totally hated being bullied off the ball by men and teenagers that where more muscular than me.

Introduce another addiction, the gym. I joined with the intention of gaining a bit of strength, and putting on a little muscle. No real guidance, just bought men’s health and thought “soon, I will look like one of these guys”. I started buying weight gaining stacks from maxi muscle (now maxi nutrition) and smashed the gym when ever I could.

I ate everything in sight, no regard to calories of macro nutrients. I didn’t even know what they were.

Having an office job, and now being 19 / 20 I had gained weight and size, but no six pack in sight. Now i had strength, nobody knocked me off the ball. I had an overconfidence in my football ability, and my strength. Almost an arrogance.

21 saw me get my first major injury, snapping ligaments in my ankle. I could barely walk for about 4 months. Weigh was piling on, but now it was hanging over my waist.

Since that day I have totally hated my body. I sit with my arms over my belly, even when I get in shape and may have a flat (flatter) stomach, I am ashamed of it.

On holidays I rarely have my shirt off, I just hate the thought of people seeing my in public not being covered up.

Since being 21 I have had every football, gym, cycling or outdoors injury you can imagine and my fitness is now the lowest it has ever been. I HATE IT.

I hate not being able to smash weights in the gym, go bouldering for 2 hours, run 15 miles no issue, play football for 90 minutes or cycle 30 miles like I used to. In my mind it is pathetic.

Exercise isn’t a means to an end for me. I enjoy it. I want to do it. Unfortunately I am still waiting to get over an operation, I don’t have the time or insert other excuse here……..